As The Pandemic began, I was already be reading (and listening) to the Emily Wilson translation of The Odyssey. That accessible adaptation primed me to think about what I'd do if my work ever got back to in-person conference presentations. Of course I'd adapt my last conference presentation from the pre-pandemic times into iambic pentameter. (that's a normal thing to think, right?)
In a few short sittings I was able to adapt about half of this story of workplace drama into verse and I was pretty pleased with it. I started submitting it to conferences with no luck. I suspected the submission reviewers were confused. Was this for real?
So I changed the description I was submitting into a sonnet:
What happens when the web team drifts apart? What happens when they lose sight of shared goals? Everyone optimizes their own chart. Each role maximizes their own controls. Hear the story of a new stakeholder Who asks for a seemingly simple tweak And is answered by a chain of scolders, Each too siloed to find what they all seek. This session will examine dynamics Present in nearly all web teams trying To balance many different metrics Without clear guidance. And without crying. Before you get lost in the WebOps weeds, Navigate the hierarchy of needs.
I changed the "learning objectives" section into a sonnet too:
Website operations is a team sport. One where the team decides what scores their points. Attendees will avoid the things that thwart Success and instead stretch connected joints. Attendees will look at their calendars For opportunities to break silos, As cross-departmental ambassadors, Who know the needs in their teammates' bios. They will surface their own blockers and stumps, As a means of humanizing their jobs, And making space for others in their slumps. Teamed together, the curveballs look like lobs. Practice getting teammates out of their jams. You need players on base to hit grand slams.
Even the title has 20 syllables:
The Dramatic and Poetical Tale Of the Website Hierarchy of Needs
Still no luck. Eventually, this material found the perfect home at WPCampus. The organizers had open Zoom calls for potential presenters to share their ideas. I read a few selections of what I had written and they encouraged me to keep going. Here's the end result: